Londoners Abroad: The Dating Scene – London vs. Buenos Aries

I’ve decided to start a new series of posts written by Londoners abroad on various topics. Judging by the lovely flag counter in my sidebar, there’s a good chunk of you reading from other countries. Whether you are expats originally from London curious as to what’s going on back home, or you’re just a fan of the Big Smoke, I’m not sure… but, if you’re out there somewhere, originally from London and you’d like to write a few lines about being a Londoner in your new country or be interviewed, please do drop me a line (stephanie.sadler.23 @ gmail . com – remove spaces)!

The first post for this series happens to be a sponsored post, written by Londoner Tracey Chandler on the differences between dating in London and dating in her new city: Buenos Aires. 

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Words by Tracey Chandler

I always thought that dating in London was tough and confusing, but it is nowhere near as tough as dating on a foreign continent, within a foreign culture and communicating in a foreign language.

Dating in Latin America, and learning to deal with foreign dating codes, has made me realise just how much I miss dating in London.

Every large city in the world abides by a number of unspoken dating codes and there are always a number of places that are perfect for meeting a guy you can chat with, share interests with, date long-term and perhaps even form a family with. The key is learning where to look in order to find the places where the diamonds in the rough hide out.

If you are looking for the perfect match in London, but you are finding it hard to connect with someone, don’t despair. Relax, smile and slip into your most flattering outfit of the moment. Dating in London, I have come to realise, doesn’t have to be daunting, particularly when you take the time to do some Prince Charming hunting in the following city hotspots…

1. London Parks

Summer sun and London parks provide the perfect backdrop for finding a new love interest. Hyde Park, Regents Park, Kew Gardens and even small plazas like those found on Upper Street in Islington or in the middle of zone one mayhem at Leicester Square, are magical spaces where romances blossom.

Photo by LLO

I miss enjoying the sunshine, with picnic and frisbee in tow, dressed in skimpy shorts and accompanied by a bag full of creams, nail polish and girly mags to ponder over. These magical moments, when all the girls get together, do wonders for strengthening friendships and they make your skin look great.

There’s something so relaxing and free about London parks. Even the shyest Brit on the planet will pluck up the courage in Hyde Park to get chatting to the pretty girl in the summer hat. Excluding Buenos Aires, innocent flirting in Latin American parks doesn’t really exist. The boys do their thing and the girls do theirs and I miss the spontaneity of the British boys who stop their game of football to spend a little time with the ladies.

2. Hoxton Square 

Hoxton Square never fails. It’s the perfect place to enjoy a weekend cocktail with the girls and, if you are open to innocent conversation and delicate flirting, (in true British fashion), Hoxton Square is one of the best locations on the London nightlife dating circuit to find someone who shares your interests and relationship ideals.

Photo by Tracey Chandler

Whenever I go back to London for a visit, Hoxton Square is one of the first places I head to with my London friends who remain on the singles dating scene because it attracts a true mixture of people from all walks of life. The thing about dating and the key to getting it right is to recognise and accept that finding someone that you feel comfortable with is ultimately more important than finding someone with an attractive face and nothing more.

Hoxton Square is full of people with interesting lives and interesting stories to tell. There is something for everyone in Hoxton Square and it’s one of the reasons that make it a great location for singletons on the London dating scene.

3. Theatre Pubs and the Brooding Intellectuals

There’s nothing like a good London pub to while away the afternoon, catch up with friends, or watch an important sporting event amongst fanatics, but the London Theatre Pub (like The Old Red Lion, The King’s Head or The Hen and Chickens – all of which happen to be in Islington) has something extra to offer the single girl looking for love… the brooding intellectual.

The London intellectual is a particular species not to be found anywhere else on the planet. He spends his time brooding, reading and worrying about the existential in life questions that plague us all.

I have often thought that I might one day end up marrying one of these brooding intellectuals, falling hopelessly in love and spend the rest of my days writing poetry from a one-roomed flat in Hackney.

The Intellectual Londoner has a particular way with words which is very attractive. I miss his conversational style and the sharing of romantic ideas. If your idea of the perfect man is one who spends time quoting poetry, start paying more attention to the London Theatre Pub scene. It’s good for the soul.

Photo by LLO

4. Guanabara Brazilian Beijos

Even though I miss the London dating scene and even though I have had to learn how to date in foreign lands, there are times when I’m back in London and I miss what Latin America has to offer too. Guanabara, a popular Brazilian bar on Parker Street in London is, during these moments, my salvation.

Brazilian music, Brazilian food, Brazilian Portuguese and Brazilian men. Guanabara is open seven days a week and if you happen to be dating someone who loves to dance, it is the perfect place to take them one evening.

What’s more, it is important to remember that London is one of the best cities in the world for inter-cultural experiences. You might find that you like the Brazilian culture and the attention of a Brazilian man. You might be surprised to find out that the person you feel most at home with was born thousands of miles away on a different continent and is now, by pure luck, living on your doorstep and offering to treat you like a princess day after day.

Give Guanabara a try. You might be pleasantly surprised with who you meet there. It’s all Brazil and well worth a look!

Photo by LLO

Bio

Tracey writes her way around the globe, focusing on travel, culture and love, for a variety of sites, including eHarmony. She has developed a penchant for Whitesnake and Joss Stone on a daily basis, doesn’t have the guts to jump out of a plane and cannot live without internet connection.

Listen to a Londoner: Mary Higgs

Listen to a Londoner is a weekly interview with a Londoner – someone who lives in this city, born here or elsewhere. If you’re up for being interviewed, email littlelondonobservationist@hotmail.co.uk.

Mary Higgs, 30

Mary lives in Battersea. She’s an interior designer by day and a London dating guru by night. She set up the Great Date Guide to help give Londoners inspiration and advice on where to go for a great date in this fantastic city.

LLO: Tell us about the Great Date Guide.
MH: I had the idea for the Great Date Guide a few years ago, when it started its life as a homemade book for my older brother. He had recently found himself new to London and single (after ending a 7-year relationship) and with an unenviable yet unavoidable lack of dating know-how. As it turned out, he wasn’t alone. I realised that I had so many friends in their late twenties who had hit the “make or break” stage in their relationships and had opted for “break”. This meant that their last “first date” was about seven years ago and often at university – a distant memory from a distant city!

Fed up with my brother’s constant emails at lunchtime on a Friday asking where he should take his date that evening, I decided to take action. I put together a book of eighty dates for him, written in the format of a travel guide. Each date was given a number based on its stage in the dating game (1 for a first date, 2 for early days etc.), and also a symbol to tell him what type of date it was – a heart for romance, a wine glass for drinks… you get the picture!

Anyway, he (and all his friends) absolutely loved the book and I kept an idea, in the back of my mind, that I’d like to do more with it.  A few years later I decided it was the right time to do something with the idea and here it is – a website designed to take the hassle out of dating for busy Londoners who need a bit of inspiration. Single, married or somewhere in between, we should all be dating. Whether it’s cocktails in a ritzy bar, a romantic dinner for two or just a leisurely stroll through one of London’s fabulous parks, it’s our belief that dating should be a firm fixture in everyone’s weekly schedule.

LLO: Would you consider London a romantic city?
MH: Absolutely! Although, I believe that any city can be romantic if you approach it with the right attitude. It’s less about the city – more about how you interact with it. That is one of the reasons we started the website, to help people find the great dating spots in London that might otherwise have passed them by. I do think London is special though, and full of quirky romantic places.

LLO: Where’s the best place for a date in your postcode?
MH: For a first date, I think my local pub, the Lighthouse in Battersea, is pretty perfect! There’s a great garden for the summer and a roaring fire in the winter. The atmosphere is seriously relaxed so you can start off with a glass of wine, and if the date is going well you can settle in and order food. If the date is going really well you can finish off with a romantic stroll around Battersea Park and then reward yourself with a cheeky kiss on Albert Bridge – definitely the most romantic bridge in London!

LLO: Tell us about the best date you’ve ever had in London.
MH: I’m in the lucky position of having had lots of wonderful dates in London with my boyfriend. It’s hard to pick a favourite but I think I’d have to say when we took a day trip to Greenwich. Taking the boat down the river, you’re really reminded what a fantastic city London is. Then in Greenwich there is so much to do: fascinating museums, beautiful art, colourful markets, romantic walks with spectacular views, not to mention standing on the line where time officially starts! We finished off the date with a delicious meal at the Rivington Grill and then a very tipsy boat ride home in the dark, mesmerised by the lights of London and the romance of it all. It was a perfect day.

LLO: Any great date disasters you’re willing to share?
MH: Hmmm, I had a pretty bad first date once when my date wanted to take me out for dinner, but it turned out he hadn’t booked anywhere. Every restaurant that we tried was fully booked until an hour later and we ended up going to Pizza Express – not exactly the height of romance! Then to top it off we went to a nearby pub after dinner to bump into a bunch of his male friends who were having a pretty boozy night and thought the fact that he was on a first date was cause for relentless “banter”. Anyway, it wasn’t too bad as we went on more dates and are still friends now!

LLO: Can you recommend a cozy, quiet, candlelit restaurant for us?
MH: Of course! Plenty to choose from… We love Julie’s in Holland Park as it’s full of romantic little nooks and crannies, making it the perfect place for dinner. Clos Maggiore is another favourite – you’ll be hard pushed to find somewhere more romantic, with it’s indoor courtyard complete with roaring fire, fairy lights and blossom laden trees (all year round)!

LLO: Best place for a first date in London?
MH: Again, there are so many options (we’ve got a section about this on the site)! Also, it sounds obvious, but you really have to think about who you’re going on a date with. If they’re an art lover then the top floor bar at the National Portrait Gallery would be perfect, but more of a foodie would like Moro in Exmouth Market, oh, and a music buff would like 606 Jazz Club in Chelsea!!

LLO: What about a date of people who have been in a relationship for a long time and want to do something completely out of the ordinary to help rekindle the passion?
MH: Lots of options here but if you lead a busy stressful life and have forgotten what it felt like to fall in love, then a spontaneous candlelit supper picnic in one of London’s parks will do the trick (summer or winter). It involves a bit of effort and that’s what makes it so special – you’re saying you can do more than just pick up the bill. However, if you do want to go to a restaurant then Dans Le Noir would be perfect. From the moment you enter you are blind-folded so all your senses are heightened and you can focus on each other with no distractions.

LLO: It’s summertime and London is full of rooftop terraces just waiting to be filled with cocktail drinkers. Can you recommend the best place to wine or dine above the treetops?
MH: We’ve actually got a list of our top 10 roof terraces on the website – we couldn’t pick a favourite! For the best view in town it probably has to be Vista at the Trafalgar, where, as the name suggests you can see the whole of Trafalgar Square and beyond. You do have to queue which is a pain but it’s worth it for the incredible view. If you’re in the City then Coq D’argent is a must with it’s roof terrace and garden and the kind of quality food you expect from the D&D group.

LLO: What’s your favourite unique London discovery?
MH: I discovered the Chelsea Physic Garden recently. Like so many places in london I’d walked passed the entrance for years and never gone in! The gardens themselves are a complete oasis from the traffic on the Embankment and the bustle of the Kings Road. In the summer you can eat in the garden: either bring your own food and a picnic rug or tuck into the seriously delicious food on offer in the cafe. But, as you’ll have guessed from the rest of this interview I’m not very good at picking favourites!

Thanks Mary!

Get some great ideas from Mary and team at www.thegreatdateguide.com. They’re also on Facebook www.facebook.com/greatdateguide and tweet at @greatdateguide.

For more Listen to a Londoner posts, click here.

Listen to a Londoner: Lucy McDonald

Listen to a Londoner. This is a weekly post where people who live (or have lived for a while) in London answer a few questions about the Big Smoke. If you fit the bill and want to be interviewed, give me a shout at littlelondonobservationist@hotmail.co.uk. Always looking for new victims volunteers….

Lucy McDonald, 25
(Usually, it’s 10 questions, but Lucy likes questions, so she answered 30. Bonus.)

Lucy is from the most rural county in England but her soul is a Londoner. She likes tea, merry-go-rounds, walking along the Thames, lists, the radio, food and getting dressed several times a day. She works as an admin monkey at a language school in Bloomsbury.

LLO: How long have you lived in London?
LM: I accidentally say I’ve lived here for five years, despite the fact a year of that was spent in Mexico. Actually I similarly used to answer ‘?Donde vives?’ in Mexico with ‘Londres’ for an irrationally long number of months. I’ve known I wanted to live here since I was eleven.

LLO: Where are you from originally?
LM: The shire, the middle of nowhere, where England meets Wales, the green and pleasant and beautiful land, the most rural county in England – Herefordshire.

LLO: Best thing about London?
LM: It’s still possible for me to get excited about the little things – being able to jump on the tube and end up in a place that looks and feels completely different to the one I’m in now, popping and seeing the Houses of Parliament and all the sites tourists come to see. The many and glorious parks, the way people dress, the interests people have – a general and indescribable Londonness that is strongest I think at Sunday brunch time, when Saturday revellers are in recovering in cafes, wandering the streets and dressed in their most interesting togs.

LLO: Worst thing about London?
LM: Being ground down by the insularity and commuting. The fact that travelling from one side to another – east to west, north to south – seems like an epic challenge worthy of Tolkein. Light pollution and other grubbiness. The 25 bus, expense, Victoria Coach Station. Being from elsewhere in England, it can be irritating that people from the South East don’t believe in any realistic sense that the rest of the country exists. Most bad things in London are the same in the big metropolitan cities and the mindset that puts you in. The best-worst thing about it, London is a difficult place to leave.

LLO: North, south, east or west?
LM: East. No question. 

LLO: Best restaurant?
LM: Moro.

LLO: Best shop?
LM: Atlantis Art Materials, Hanbury Street. I like to peer in the windows of the rope shop and the umbrella shop in Bloomsbury, and Blade Rubber Stamps.

LLO: Best place to escape the city?
LM: Hampstead Heath or the top of Senate House Library, depending if you need glorious openness or protective dusty rooms and books.

LLO: 2012 Olympics – stay or go?
LM: I don’t know and can’t decide. Is that significant?

LLO: How do you spend your time on the tube?
LM: Reading. If I can find another participant I like playing tube chicken, empty tube platforms allowing.

LLO: Most random thing you’ve seen in London.
LM: Somebody stopping to help a stranger – tee hee – gallows humour.

LLO: Best place to catch a gig?
LM: The Union Chapel, Islington

LLO: Best local band?
LM: The Correspondents

LLO: Favourite book, song or film about London?
LM: 1599 by James Shapiro. 

LLO: Favourite London discovery?
LM: Signing up to go and see free recordings of radio and TV programmes, Sam Smiths Pubs and the many retro nights.

LLO: Best place to spend a Sunday afternoon?
LM: Ah, I’m too predictable – Brick Lane.

LLO: Best museum or gallery?
LM: Tate Modern during the week, otherwise The Museum of Childhood. It’s not my favourite, but if you haven’t been you should go to The John Soane Museum. I like to sit in the big leather chairs in the National Gallery to read.

LLO: Favourite market?
LM: Predictability reigns, Brick Lane Sunday – the Upmarket, Spitalfields and everyone along the edge of the lane.

LLO: Give us a funny London story.
LM: I’ll cheat and copy and paste from previous writing –
Waiting on the platform at Leicester Square for the train to come, and a drunken suit, pink shirt, grabs my hand and begins to twirl me around the platform, asks what my dance would be, if I could dance any, here on the platform, between the yellow line and the commuters and the couples. I decline. He presses my hand to his heart and asks my name. I guess his instead. It’s not Charles and it’s not Jim. He takes my hand, asks my name, asks if I’ve seen the most recent exhibition at the British Museum. He tells me the last exhibition was a disappointment. Not enough artefacts. Central London has a different class of drunk.

LLO: Most influential Londoner?
LM: Can’t think of one person.

LLO: Best London magazine, newspaper or website?
LM: C’mon – the national British media is solely a London set of magazines and newspapers – so the Observer on Sunday.

LLO: If you were to dress up as one of the tube station names for a costume party, which would you be?
LM: High Barnet. My hair loves a good backcomb.

LLO: Best time of year in London?
LM: Impossible question – Autumn on Hampstead Heath, Christmas in Covent Garden, Summer in Russell Square. 

LLO: Best place for a first date?
LM: Dates? In London? Don’t people just get drunk and fall on each other inappropriately?

LLO: First place to take a visitor?
LM: To St Pauls, across the wobbly bridge, to South bank and along to the London Eye. Or a trip to The Globe.

LLO: Favourite place to be on a Saturday night?
LM: The George Tavern, Commercial Road. And as far as possible from Leicester Square.

LLO: Best and worst things about tourists?
LM: Worst thing – they get in the way and behave as if the place you live has been placed there for their own enjoyment, loud voices, big bags and not getting out of the way on the tube. Best thing – they talk loudly and think they can’t be understood so always good for an eavesdrop.

LLO: Boris is…
LM: …a muppet.

LLO: What would you change about the city if you had the power to do so?
LM: Not sure – I want to say make it smaller and cleaner and cheaper, but it wouldn’t be London anymore. I would take the violence out of it, and (sorry for the nod to Boris) I do hate the bendy buses.

LLO: Most interesting recent news story.
LM: Anything told to me by John Humphrys as I drink my first cup of tea in the morning.

 Thanks Lucy!

For more Listen to a Londoner posts, click here.